I.M.Patient II

The beauty of joblessness is ephemeral. No more than two weeks is my threshold. Beyond such time, I am ready to sign any contract regardless of the job's nature or its monetary rewards. I have to have load of books to read and friends to meet in the interim otherwise I go berserk unemployed.

Why am I perennially impatient over almost all things in my life, most especially with sticking to a job? I think it is congenital. I remember an episode in my childhood I first manifested this disorder. Nanay was waking me up for some chore when I snapped and threatened to slit her throat if she did not stop nudging my shoulders. I admit that it has grown to become a disorder over my lifetime, the impatience over almost all things in my life that is.

I prefer radical change over slow change. I find it difficult, with my not-so-upright virtue, to accept things when they are totally unacceptable. More so to shut my eyes and mouth and succumb to status quo when I know that something can be done if only one can muster enough guts to start moving things to a better direction. This explains why I have not been able to stick to my jobs. First was a boss who had forgotten about what mentoring and proper people management was. Then, a group of coworkers and airhead bosses who knew, and cared about, nothing but themselves wrongly stuck in a very promising and ideal company. Last, I admit, was a summation of my poorly thought-out decisions combined with a pretty bad start up.

I attempt to rationalize and justify it each time. But I fail. Nevertheless, I do not and will not regret them. No matter what the consequences were. And I rarely do in any wrong decisions in my life. I do not know regret. And I am scared to death to experience the real definition of regret.